"Amma, Who are terrorists?" was a question asked by my 6 year old daughter as I was following the TV channel coverages on that fateful 26th November...I wasn't sure how to answer her question...I just told her they are bad people ...like the bad monsters she comes across in those 'HeMan' series on Cartoon channels...And I am not sure if she understood it or not...for I thought she is too young to understand it...
It could have been you. It could have been me. We were fortunate. We are alive. But
hundreds of other victims – our people - who died last week, weren’t as lucky. They were at the wrong place at the wrong time…. and paid with their lives. Mumbai received a body blow from which it may take years and years to recover. Just as 9\11 changed the lives of millions of New Yorkers, 26\11 will remain etched on our consciousness – a tragic reminder of Mumbai’s exposed flanks and extreme vulnerability.
Collectively we’re grappling with the ineffectiveness of the system and what was presented to us as information. Politicians, soulless and emotionless, were addressing the country while reading off of Teleprompters. Can you not feel anything? Can you say nothing to make us feel just a little more secure in your hands? Poorly conducted “press conferences” announcing the death and casualty toll for foreigners with the speaker unable to successfully read a list from a sheet of paper, confusing Austria for Australia and generally making us look like illiterate idiots to a global audience. It left me embarrassed and struggling to find pride in our government.
Our abysmal failure to secure Mumbai does not need any further amplification. Questions that may remain unanswered revolve around the puzzling time lapses that cost precious lives. Why was the army not called in much earlier, why the delay in getting the Marcos and the NSG into action? Forget intelligence failure that could not intercept an attack of such a magnitude – for hours and hours after the first burst of gunfire, our cops and firemen appeared totally confused and ill prepared – as if they were waiting for a go ahead from some ‘higher authority’ (who? ). Bureaucratic tangles may have paralysed some of our dynamic and brilliant police officers, unable to move without those dratted ‘clearances’ , possibly from a sleepy Delhi. Why not more autonomy for our top cops?Viewers watched in horror, as the poor constables attempted to do their best, armed with lathis!! The terrorists on the other hand were armed to the teeth with the world’s most advanced weapons. How can a megapolis of this size, with its unique topography, hope to cope with a terror operation of this scale and sophistication? Despite the odds being stacked so heavily against our men, they bravely battled on and decimated our enemies to cries of , ‘Bharat Mata ki Jai.’ Mumbai itself shone through the tragedy, as average Mumbaikars rallied around brilliantly, expressing solidarity, compassion and a splendid display of maturity via emails, smes, phone calls and visits to affected families. Mumbai stood together as one entity. This in itself is nothing short of a feat…..a miracle.
The ordeal may be over…. but not the battle. Faces of all those who died, must be remembered. No forgetting, no forgiving this time. The time for that is over. Stay together. Stay angry. May the force be with us as we start to heal. Once again.
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Thursday, November 13, 2008
The Little Prince By Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
I read this small book The Little Prince which appears to be a simple children's tale, But I would say that it is actually a profound and deeply moving tale, written in riddles and laced with philosopy and poetic metaphor.
I would like to quote some beautiful lines from the book.
* All grown-ups were children first. (But few remember it).
* Grown-ups like numbers. When you tell them about a new friend, they never ask questions about what really matters. They never ask: "What does his voice sound like?" "What games does he like best?" "Does he collect butterflies?". They ask: "How old is he?" "How many brothers does he have?" "How much does he weigh?" "How much money does his father make?" Only then do they think they know him.
* That is the hardest thing of all. It is much harder to judge yourself than to judge others. If you succeed in judging yourself, it's because you're truly a wise man.
* All men have the stars," he answered, "but they are not the same things for different people. For some, who are travellers, the stars are guides. For others they are no more than little lights in the sky. For others, who are scholars, they are problems. For my businessman they were wealth. But all the stars are silent."
* "Language is the source of misunderstandings."
* "One sees clearly only with the heart. Anything essential is invisible to the eyes."
The Little Prince, stands in a class by itself, and expresses the world-weary and cynical author's yearning for a genuine and more sincere and introspective world.
Understanding life is what this story is about, for both the author and his subject. The Little Prince lived happily alone on his small planet until the wind planted for him a new seed, from which sprang the loveliest flower he had ever seen. He lavished his love and attention upon the flower, which in turn tormented him with her vanity and her pride, ultimately driving him to abandon his home and venture forth into the galaxy in search of the secret of what is really important in life. He learns this secret, finally, from a creature of the Earth - a fox. With his new level of understanding, the Little Prince is at last ready to return home, but not before he passes on his new knowledge to the author - knowledge of the healing power of love which makes all things unique, and how the pain of saying goodbye is worth it if it changes how we look at the world.
And that is how it goes. Little nuggets of wisdom delivered in an offhanded fashion, told through the words of a child, for it is a child who understands and values the absolute truth, the truth that goes beyond boundaries and beyond the self. The truth where one can love a rose and not be ridiculed, because in this truth the object of love is not important – what matters is that there is love.
I'd like to close with a quote from the book's own jacket copy: "There are a few stories which in some way, in some degree, change the world forever for their readers. This is one."
I would like to quote some beautiful lines from the book.
* All grown-ups were children first. (But few remember it).
* Grown-ups like numbers. When you tell them about a new friend, they never ask questions about what really matters. They never ask: "What does his voice sound like?" "What games does he like best?" "Does he collect butterflies?". They ask: "How old is he?" "How many brothers does he have?" "How much does he weigh?" "How much money does his father make?" Only then do they think they know him.
* That is the hardest thing of all. It is much harder to judge yourself than to judge others. If you succeed in judging yourself, it's because you're truly a wise man.
* All men have the stars," he answered, "but they are not the same things for different people. For some, who are travellers, the stars are guides. For others they are no more than little lights in the sky. For others, who are scholars, they are problems. For my businessman they were wealth. But all the stars are silent."
* "Language is the source of misunderstandings."
* "One sees clearly only with the heart. Anything essential is invisible to the eyes."
The Little Prince, stands in a class by itself, and expresses the world-weary and cynical author's yearning for a genuine and more sincere and introspective world.
Understanding life is what this story is about, for both the author and his subject. The Little Prince lived happily alone on his small planet until the wind planted for him a new seed, from which sprang the loveliest flower he had ever seen. He lavished his love and attention upon the flower, which in turn tormented him with her vanity and her pride, ultimately driving him to abandon his home and venture forth into the galaxy in search of the secret of what is really important in life. He learns this secret, finally, from a creature of the Earth - a fox. With his new level of understanding, the Little Prince is at last ready to return home, but not before he passes on his new knowledge to the author - knowledge of the healing power of love which makes all things unique, and how the pain of saying goodbye is worth it if it changes how we look at the world.
And that is how it goes. Little nuggets of wisdom delivered in an offhanded fashion, told through the words of a child, for it is a child who understands and values the absolute truth, the truth that goes beyond boundaries and beyond the self. The truth where one can love a rose and not be ridiculed, because in this truth the object of love is not important – what matters is that there is love.
I'd like to close with a quote from the book's own jacket copy: "There are a few stories which in some way, in some degree, change the world forever for their readers. This is one."
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
To kill a mocking Bird by Harper Lee - A Review
First sentence: When he was thirteen, my brother Jem got his arm broken badly at the elbow.
Reflections: Harper Lee's Pulitzer prizewinner is such a classic; the plot is well-known and there's probably not a person who will read this review that hasn't already read this book.
What a powerful book. I immediately became absorbed in the main characters -- Jem, Scout, Atticus, and Calpurnia -- as well as some of the townspeople and neighbors. I fell easily into the tales of carefree childhood summers, pretend play, and "spooky" reclusive neighbors. I could feel the warm summer evenings and the year-round temperate Alabama climate. But then, wham!, I was hit with the small-mindedness, hatred, and racism:
"Cry about the simple hell people give other people--without even thinking. Cry about the hell white people give colored folks, without even stopping to think that they're people, too." (p. 229)
Through brilliant prose, Harper Lee vividly tells the story of a black man on trial for raping a white woman, Atticus' inner strength and determination, the injustice done to the defendant, the varying reactions of the townspeople, and the subsequent events in which justice is finally served. I'd forgotten how the book got its title, and when I read this part of the book, I found it so apt:
"Mockingbirds don't do one thing but make music for us to enjoy ... they don't do one thing but sing their hearts out for us. That's why it's a sin to kill a mockingbird." (p. 103)
Before reading To Kill a Mockingbird, the title itself means nothing. The title is the foundation of a house. It is just a slob of cement, and cannot be interpreted. While reading the book, pieces of wood fit together and the house starts to stand up. After reading the book, the house is fully painted and decorated. The landscaping is complete, and the house is beautiful.
Several things and people represent the "Mockingbird" throughout the novel. The understanding of the "Mockingbird" can bee seen in three steps.
The first step is in chapter 10. Atticus tells Jem to never shoot a mockingbird,
because it causes no harm. At this point, neither Jem nor Scout understand what Atticus is saying.
Secondly, Scout finds a roly-poly in chapter 25. In answer to Scout’s desire to kill the bug, Jem says, "Because they don’t bother you…" (241). At this second stage, Jem, not yet Scout, has understood Atticus’ holy words.
The last depiction is in the final chapters of the book. This "Mockingbird" is Arthur "Boo" Radley. Boo ends up to save both Jem and Scout’s lives, by
killing Bob Ewell. At this final stage in the book, Scout, as well as Jem, understands Atticus and his saying. Scout realizes life.
The title is something that can be interpreted in many ways. Each one will be different, based on the reader’s philosophy and beliefs.
The metaphor of a mockingbird and the man on trial is so strong. The way it tied together was amazing and I never forgot when it said that mockingbirds give nothing but music to the world and to kill them would be sinful because they harm no one. They give only good, not bad. To harm a good person who harms no one, it wrong. That always stayed with me
If you haven't read this book, you should. And if you have, you should re-read it -- you'll learn something new every time.
Reflections: Harper Lee's Pulitzer prizewinner is such a classic; the plot is well-known and there's probably not a person who will read this review that hasn't already read this book.
What a powerful book. I immediately became absorbed in the main characters -- Jem, Scout, Atticus, and Calpurnia -- as well as some of the townspeople and neighbors. I fell easily into the tales of carefree childhood summers, pretend play, and "spooky" reclusive neighbors. I could feel the warm summer evenings and the year-round temperate Alabama climate. But then, wham!, I was hit with the small-mindedness, hatred, and racism:
"Cry about the simple hell people give other people--without even thinking. Cry about the hell white people give colored folks, without even stopping to think that they're people, too." (p. 229)
Through brilliant prose, Harper Lee vividly tells the story of a black man on trial for raping a white woman, Atticus' inner strength and determination, the injustice done to the defendant, the varying reactions of the townspeople, and the subsequent events in which justice is finally served. I'd forgotten how the book got its title, and when I read this part of the book, I found it so apt:
"Mockingbirds don't do one thing but make music for us to enjoy ... they don't do one thing but sing their hearts out for us. That's why it's a sin to kill a mockingbird." (p. 103)
Before reading To Kill a Mockingbird, the title itself means nothing. The title is the foundation of a house. It is just a slob of cement, and cannot be interpreted. While reading the book, pieces of wood fit together and the house starts to stand up. After reading the book, the house is fully painted and decorated. The landscaping is complete, and the house is beautiful.
Several things and people represent the "Mockingbird" throughout the novel. The understanding of the "Mockingbird" can bee seen in three steps.
The first step is in chapter 10. Atticus tells Jem to never shoot a mockingbird,
because it causes no harm. At this point, neither Jem nor Scout understand what Atticus is saying.
Secondly, Scout finds a roly-poly in chapter 25. In answer to Scout’s desire to kill the bug, Jem says, "Because they don’t bother you…" (241). At this second stage, Jem, not yet Scout, has understood Atticus’ holy words.
The last depiction is in the final chapters of the book. This "Mockingbird" is Arthur "Boo" Radley. Boo ends up to save both Jem and Scout’s lives, by
killing Bob Ewell. At this final stage in the book, Scout, as well as Jem, understands Atticus and his saying. Scout realizes life.
The title is something that can be interpreted in many ways. Each one will be different, based on the reader’s philosophy and beliefs.
The metaphor of a mockingbird and the man on trial is so strong. The way it tied together was amazing and I never forgot when it said that mockingbirds give nothing but music to the world and to kill them would be sinful because they harm no one. They give only good, not bad. To harm a good person who harms no one, it wrong. That always stayed with me
If you haven't read this book, you should. And if you have, you should re-read it -- you'll learn something new every time.
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
No onions nor garlic
And, most dear actors, eat no onions nor garlic, for we are to utter sweet breath; and do not doubt but to hear them say it is a sweet comedy.
- William Shakespeare, A Midsummer Night’s Dream
How refreshing it is to come across a comedy that’s genuinely, unabashedly funny – one that tries to provide belly-laughs on nearly every page and very often succeeds. Srividya Natarajan’s No Onions Nor Garlic was occupying my time along with a couple of other books. But I’m glad I cose to read it first – it’s a manic, immensely entertaining novel.
There’s much in No Onions No Garlic that draws on the work of comic masters of the past. Especiallly, the romantic confusions evoke P G Wodehouse’s Blandings Castle stories ...
Natarajan pulls it off so well, partly because she isn’t just imitating indiscriminately; her book has a style of its own that fits its setting very well. She has a good balance of the rhythms of speech and behaviour, she pokes fun at sacred cows without being mean-spirited about it .
For me, much of the fun of reading this book came from the sense that the author had a lot of fun writing it. I also appreciate the risks that go into carrying off something like this: good comedy is among the hardest things to do, and always so easy to get wrong. Natarajan goes all the way in the final chapter, with an ending that combines slapstick with a parody of lost-and-found scenes in Indian movies and the introduction of a romantic relationship that Wodehouse would have baulked at. It’s wonderfully ticklish, colourful and melodramatic, not all that different in its effect from the final act of a Shakespeare comedy where all the loose ends are tied up.
- William Shakespeare, A Midsummer Night’s Dream
How refreshing it is to come across a comedy that’s genuinely, unabashedly funny – one that tries to provide belly-laughs on nearly every page and very often succeeds. Srividya Natarajan’s No Onions Nor Garlic was occupying my time along with a couple of other books. But I’m glad I cose to read it first – it’s a manic, immensely entertaining novel.
There’s much in No Onions No Garlic that draws on the work of comic masters of the past. Especiallly, the romantic confusions evoke P G Wodehouse’s Blandings Castle stories ...
Natarajan pulls it off so well, partly because she isn’t just imitating indiscriminately; her book has a style of its own that fits its setting very well. She has a good balance of the rhythms of speech and behaviour, she pokes fun at sacred cows without being mean-spirited about it .
For me, much of the fun of reading this book came from the sense that the author had a lot of fun writing it. I also appreciate the risks that go into carrying off something like this: good comedy is among the hardest things to do, and always so easy to get wrong. Natarajan goes all the way in the final chapter, with an ending that combines slapstick with a parody of lost-and-found scenes in Indian movies and the introduction of a romantic relationship that Wodehouse would have baulked at. It’s wonderfully ticklish, colourful and melodramatic, not all that different in its effect from the final act of a Shakespeare comedy where all the loose ends are tied up.
Sunday, November 2, 2008
The Secret - My views...
The woman with long, dark hair looks yearningly at the gold necklace in the window of a jewelry store. She fixates on the bling. There's some kind of disruption in the atmosphere. And then, the necklace is draped around her neck.
The scenes unfold in The Secret, a 90-minute-long DVD advocating the power of positive thinking that has sold 2 million copies. More than 5.2 million copies of the book of the same name are in print.
"The Secret " is a new movie I saw last evening. To my knowledge it’s not playing in theatres at this time, but you can get The Secret DVD for under $30 or take a teaser online for less than $5. I watched the DVD lent bya friend. I think this movie has the potential to spread rapidly via word of mouth, and I expect it will become the next underground hit, at least among people with a passion for personal development.
Every generation gets the pyramid scheme it deserves, and ours begins and ends with The Secret, a self-help phenomenon that differs little from previous philosophies of positive thinking, except that it uses the veneer of “science” to elevate it beyond the obvious quackery.
Well, the actual philosophy, for starters. In sum, the secret is the “law of attraction” – nothing more, nothing less. Put another way, “thoughts become things,” or, “when you visualize, you materialize.” Yes, it’s good, old-fashioned positive thinking.
It is curious indeed that reality has no place in the Secret World, but then again, reality is what you believe it to be, not what it actually is. But what it “is” is only what you believe it to be, so, uh, you can see where this leads. If you’re fat, it’s not because you eat too much or exercise too little; you have only the image of the fat body in your mind to blame.
What the film doesn’t answer, however, is how the universe is to re-arrange itself if two people send their thoughts to the realm of the rainbows that are in direct conflict with each other.
personally, I believe:
a. the mind is much much much more powerful and robust than we give it credit for and yes it does operate in ways outside the five senses...
b. that your reality is greatly influenced by your thoughts..
I find much of the documentary up-beat, good hearted, encouraging. It also has excellent production values, cinematography, effects, and sound. And the editing is excellent. I’m especially impressed by the cutting-edge method of delivery — internet streaming — ushering in a new era of movies on demand with the click of a mouse.
I also like the message that what we bring into our lives begins with a vision, a longed-for aspiration — a good reminder for those of us who haven’t yet stretched the wings of possibility and allowed ourselves to embrace higher possibilities. If The Secret opens the way to expanded dreams, it serves a useful purpose.
What concerns me, however, are the program’s primary suppositions. The message, repeated in different words by the various guests, is that if we simply intend and visualize and dream big enough, we can “manifest” all our dreams — effortlessly, magically, mystically.
There are some successful people who claim to have mastered “The Secret” and who have manifested their dreams and desires. Few of them tell us about their years of struggle and labor and preparation.
By all means strive in the direction of your dreams! Visualize a grand life! Then get to work. While we cannot control the outcomes, we can control our efforts. And by making the effort, we increase the odds of creating a larger life.
I close with my warmest wishes, and with a reminder from Henry David Thoreau: “If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost. Now put foundations under them.”
The scenes unfold in The Secret, a 90-minute-long DVD advocating the power of positive thinking that has sold 2 million copies. More than 5.2 million copies of the book of the same name are in print.
"The Secret " is a new movie I saw last evening. To my knowledge it’s not playing in theatres at this time, but you can get The Secret DVD for under $30 or take a teaser online for less than $5. I watched the DVD lent bya friend. I think this movie has the potential to spread rapidly via word of mouth, and I expect it will become the next underground hit, at least among people with a passion for personal development.
Every generation gets the pyramid scheme it deserves, and ours begins and ends with The Secret, a self-help phenomenon that differs little from previous philosophies of positive thinking, except that it uses the veneer of “science” to elevate it beyond the obvious quackery.
Well, the actual philosophy, for starters. In sum, the secret is the “law of attraction” – nothing more, nothing less. Put another way, “thoughts become things,” or, “when you visualize, you materialize.” Yes, it’s good, old-fashioned positive thinking.
It is curious indeed that reality has no place in the Secret World, but then again, reality is what you believe it to be, not what it actually is. But what it “is” is only what you believe it to be, so, uh, you can see where this leads. If you’re fat, it’s not because you eat too much or exercise too little; you have only the image of the fat body in your mind to blame.
What the film doesn’t answer, however, is how the universe is to re-arrange itself if two people send their thoughts to the realm of the rainbows that are in direct conflict with each other.
personally, I believe:
a. the mind is much much much more powerful and robust than we give it credit for and yes it does operate in ways outside the five senses...
b. that your reality is greatly influenced by your thoughts..
I find much of the documentary up-beat, good hearted, encouraging. It also has excellent production values, cinematography, effects, and sound. And the editing is excellent. I’m especially impressed by the cutting-edge method of delivery — internet streaming — ushering in a new era of movies on demand with the click of a mouse.
I also like the message that what we bring into our lives begins with a vision, a longed-for aspiration — a good reminder for those of us who haven’t yet stretched the wings of possibility and allowed ourselves to embrace higher possibilities. If The Secret opens the way to expanded dreams, it serves a useful purpose.
What concerns me, however, are the program’s primary suppositions. The message, repeated in different words by the various guests, is that if we simply intend and visualize and dream big enough, we can “manifest” all our dreams — effortlessly, magically, mystically.
There are some successful people who claim to have mastered “The Secret” and who have manifested their dreams and desires. Few of them tell us about their years of struggle and labor and preparation.
By all means strive in the direction of your dreams! Visualize a grand life! Then get to work. While we cannot control the outcomes, we can control our efforts. And by making the effort, we increase the odds of creating a larger life.
I close with my warmest wishes, and with a reminder from Henry David Thoreau: “If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost. Now put foundations under them.”
Friday, October 31, 2008
Entitlement
All my life I grew up feeling entitled to a whole lot of things like a happy childhood, loving parents, a roof over my head, clothes the way I wanted it. You name it. In the natural progression of things dictated by what my peers did, I felt entitled and more often than not, got what I felt entitled to.
So, what happens when something I feel entitled to does not quite happen the way I want? I sometimes cry unfair and make a stinking scene. Sometimes I look away with tears clouding my eyes. Other times, I bite back the grief that threatens to overcome me and smile my way through. Sometimes, I even say “sour grapes”. Bah!
This morning however, I sought to look at the underlying problem. Why do I feel entitled to whatever it is that I want? I had no answers. However, it did make me think of all the factors that compound my feelings. Peer pressure, Society, my self image tied to other’s perception of me.
While I am no closer to finding any solution to handle my expectations of myself I figured I’d make a post of it.
So, what happens when something I feel entitled to does not quite happen the way I want? I sometimes cry unfair and make a stinking scene. Sometimes I look away with tears clouding my eyes. Other times, I bite back the grief that threatens to overcome me and smile my way through. Sometimes, I even say “sour grapes”. Bah!
This morning however, I sought to look at the underlying problem. Why do I feel entitled to whatever it is that I want? I had no answers. However, it did make me think of all the factors that compound my feelings. Peer pressure, Society, my self image tied to other’s perception of me.
While I am no closer to finding any solution to handle my expectations of myself I figured I’d make a post of it.
Saturday, October 25, 2008
Soulmate-a pain in the neck!
... and they lived happily ever after ...
That is how our favorite childhood fairytales have always ended.
That is how the romantic movies from Hollywood always end.
And that is what the media agencies advertisements promise will happen if we'll purchase the right toothpaste, car, T-shirt or life insurance policy.
In short, "...and they lived happily ever after..." is what we have been conditioned to believe our intimate relationship should look like.
WAKE UP FOLKS!
I hate to tell you this, but... GROW UP!
We were conditioned to believe that life was going to be a bed of roses... a piece of cake... a walk in the park.
Of course, what 'they' forgot to mention when we were kids, was that roses have thorns, cakes contain calories, and a walk in the park significantly increases your odds of stepping in dog's you know what...
One of the major myths we were led to believe in, since the 12th century, is the myth of romantic love.
A myth that nowadays has its new-age label - the well-known 'Soul Mate'.
Romantic love is probably the most popular path to personal satisfaction and self-esteem in the western world.
In our modern culture, we replaced religion with romantic love as the means by which we seek ecstasy, meaning and wholeness.
Romantic love does not only mean 'loving someone', it also means 'being in love'.
When we are in love we believe we have found the ultimate meaning of life, as revealed in another human being - our Soul Mate.
We feel 'instantaneous completeness' and believe that the so-called missing piece to our life and to ourselves, has finally been found.
Life suddenly seems to have a wholeness, meaning, direction and purpose.
There is this intensity, which lifts us high above our usual perception of reality.
For most people, these exciting feelings are assumed to be the definite signs of the ultimate lover.
Unconsciously, we immediately create a demand that our partner always provide us with this feeling of ecstasy and intensity.
Despite that ecstasy, within a few weeks (or months) we usually encounter feelings of loneliness, alienation and
frustration over our inability to create intimate, loving and committed relationship.
Usually we blame our partner for failing us.
What seldom occurs to us is that, it is we who need to transform our own unconscious beliefs, expectations and
demands, which we impose upon our lover.
Once aware of it, we realize that this relationship brings unhealed emotional 'stuff' into our conscious mind.
Only from this perspective, can we assume our responsibility for the situation and begin to deal with what comes to the surface.
From this point of recognition, we can then begin to heal ourselves.
I am convinced that we join in relationship with another person with the purpose of supporting each other's personal-growth process.
In order to support us on our path we need this private trainer or coach to walk with us.
Imagine one of those famous football or basketball trainers, as your personal coach, 24 hours a day, all year round...
I can see your horrified expression from here...
Well, this personal coach is your Soul Mate.
... not exactly what you had in mind when you saw that gorgeous someone at a party...
The role of your Soul Mate is to confront you when you're losing your integrity, to kick your ass when you're getting lazy, push your buttons until you gain clarity of your destructive patterns, and so on...
If you and your partner had both attained enlightenment, you probably wouldn't have so much trouble.
Your partner would have all the compassion in the world, and you would have the overview to see your partner's contribution to your life.
And then of course, if both of you are fully enlightened, then you probably don't need a Soul Mate...
However, assuming that both of you haven't reached that stage of full self-realization yet, life is a bit more
complicated...
I read somewhere that the phrase "And they lived happily ever after" is actually a long-forgotten medieval punch line that, when translated, means, "And, boy - ha ha! - are they in for the surprise of their lives!"
Have fun...
That is how our favorite childhood fairytales have always ended.
That is how the romantic movies from Hollywood always end.
And that is what the media agencies advertisements promise will happen if we'll purchase the right toothpaste, car, T-shirt or life insurance policy.
In short, "...and they lived happily ever after..." is what we have been conditioned to believe our intimate relationship should look like.
WAKE UP FOLKS!
I hate to tell you this, but... GROW UP!
We were conditioned to believe that life was going to be a bed of roses... a piece of cake... a walk in the park.
Of course, what 'they' forgot to mention when we were kids, was that roses have thorns, cakes contain calories, and a walk in the park significantly increases your odds of stepping in dog's you know what...
One of the major myths we were led to believe in, since the 12th century, is the myth of romantic love.
A myth that nowadays has its new-age label - the well-known 'Soul Mate'.
Romantic love is probably the most popular path to personal satisfaction and self-esteem in the western world.
In our modern culture, we replaced religion with romantic love as the means by which we seek ecstasy, meaning and wholeness.
Romantic love does not only mean 'loving someone', it also means 'being in love'.
When we are in love we believe we have found the ultimate meaning of life, as revealed in another human being - our Soul Mate.
We feel 'instantaneous completeness' and believe that the so-called missing piece to our life and to ourselves, has finally been found.
Life suddenly seems to have a wholeness, meaning, direction and purpose.
There is this intensity, which lifts us high above our usual perception of reality.
For most people, these exciting feelings are assumed to be the definite signs of the ultimate lover.
Unconsciously, we immediately create a demand that our partner always provide us with this feeling of ecstasy and intensity.
Despite that ecstasy, within a few weeks (or months) we usually encounter feelings of loneliness, alienation and
frustration over our inability to create intimate, loving and committed relationship.
Usually we blame our partner for failing us.
What seldom occurs to us is that, it is we who need to transform our own unconscious beliefs, expectations and
demands, which we impose upon our lover.
Once aware of it, we realize that this relationship brings unhealed emotional 'stuff' into our conscious mind.
Only from this perspective, can we assume our responsibility for the situation and begin to deal with what comes to the surface.
From this point of recognition, we can then begin to heal ourselves.
I am convinced that we join in relationship with another person with the purpose of supporting each other's personal-growth process.
In order to support us on our path we need this private trainer or coach to walk with us.
Imagine one of those famous football or basketball trainers, as your personal coach, 24 hours a day, all year round...
I can see your horrified expression from here...
Well, this personal coach is your Soul Mate.
... not exactly what you had in mind when you saw that gorgeous someone at a party...
The role of your Soul Mate is to confront you when you're losing your integrity, to kick your ass when you're getting lazy, push your buttons until you gain clarity of your destructive patterns, and so on...
If you and your partner had both attained enlightenment, you probably wouldn't have so much trouble.
Your partner would have all the compassion in the world, and you would have the overview to see your partner's contribution to your life.
And then of course, if both of you are fully enlightened, then you probably don't need a Soul Mate...
However, assuming that both of you haven't reached that stage of full self-realization yet, life is a bit more
complicated...
I read somewhere that the phrase "And they lived happily ever after" is actually a long-forgotten medieval punch line that, when translated, means, "And, boy - ha ha! - are they in for the surprise of their lives!"
Have fun...
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Is Self-help a scam?
I had a long chat with a friend the other day. We were discussing why our circle of friends seem to be unhappy with their current life. And why there is an explosion of self-help books in the market. Not just self-help books, but self-help seminars, home-working courses, how to change ur life in just 30 days etc. If you frequent the self-help sections in a book store, or if flipping through the papers, you get caught by headlines such as “even you can be happy”, or “how i made my millions on the internet”, or “i quit my day job, so can you”, you will know what i’m talking about. One question pops up ... why is that in this century there is so much of self help options and so many people seeking out "help" from the so called life coaches? Are they are not capable enough to run their own life?
I happened to bump on this book called SHAM in a bookstore recently...the " Self Help And Actualization Movement" as it is called is a big industry in this century!Beleive it or not it is a $8.5-billion-a-year business. But the question is ,"Does it work?"
Steve Salerno ,in his recent book Sham: How the Self-Help Movement Made America Helpless (Crown Publishing Group, 2005), he explains how the talks and tapes offer a momentary boost of inspiration that fades after a few weeks, turning buyers into repeat customers.If what the self help gurus propogates really works for people, one would expect lives to improve. One would not expect people to need further help from them--at least not in that same problem area, and certainly not time and time again.It is a simple logic isn't it?
And another thing, if you need to pay for someone's help, why is it called "self-help"? It is not self help , it has to be termed as "help".
Surrounding SHAM is a bulletproof shield: if your life does not get better, it is your fault--your thoughts were not positive enough. The solution? More of the same self-help--or at least the same message repackaged into new products. Consider the multiple permutations of John Gray's Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus--Mars and Venus Together Forever, Mars and Venus in the Bedroom, The Mars and Venus Diet and Exercise Solution--not to mention the Mars and Venus board game, Broadway play and Club Med getaway.
SHAM takes advantage by cleverly marketing the dualism of victimization and empowerment. Like a religion that defines people as inherently sinful so that they require forgiveness (provided exclusively by that religion), SHAM gurus insist that we are all victims of our demonic "inner children" who are produced by traumatic pasts that create negative "tapes" that replay over and over in our minds. Redemption comes through empowering yourself with new "life scripts," supplied by the masters themselves, for prices that range from $500 one-day workshops to Tony Robbins's $5,995 "Date with Destiny" seminar. Ha! Are they Gods who can change a person's life by a magic touch?
Do these programs work? No one knows.No scientific evidence indicates that any of the countless SHAM techniques--from fire walking to 12-stepping--works better than doing something else or even doing nothing. The law of large numbers means that given the millions of people who have tried SHAMs, inevitably some will improve. As with trying alternative-medicine , the body naturally heals itself and whatever the patient was doing to help gets the credit.
Of course there is a certain amount of wisdom in the books, sometimes a considerable amount. Accessible sources of information that are available to all have to be a good thing. And everyone uses the books in a different way; sometimes these are empowering ways.
Patient, heal thyself-- is the true meaning of self-help !
I happened to bump on this book called SHAM in a bookstore recently...the " Self Help And Actualization Movement" as it is called is a big industry in this century!Beleive it or not it is a $8.5-billion-a-year business. But the question is ,"Does it work?"
Steve Salerno ,in his recent book Sham: How the Self-Help Movement Made America Helpless (Crown Publishing Group, 2005), he explains how the talks and tapes offer a momentary boost of inspiration that fades after a few weeks, turning buyers into repeat customers.If what the self help gurus propogates really works for people, one would expect lives to improve. One would not expect people to need further help from them--at least not in that same problem area, and certainly not time and time again.It is a simple logic isn't it?
And another thing, if you need to pay for someone's help, why is it called "self-help"? It is not self help , it has to be termed as "help".
Surrounding SHAM is a bulletproof shield: if your life does not get better, it is your fault--your thoughts were not positive enough. The solution? More of the same self-help--or at least the same message repackaged into new products. Consider the multiple permutations of John Gray's Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus--Mars and Venus Together Forever, Mars and Venus in the Bedroom, The Mars and Venus Diet and Exercise Solution--not to mention the Mars and Venus board game, Broadway play and Club Med getaway.
SHAM takes advantage by cleverly marketing the dualism of victimization and empowerment. Like a religion that defines people as inherently sinful so that they require forgiveness (provided exclusively by that religion), SHAM gurus insist that we are all victims of our demonic "inner children" who are produced by traumatic pasts that create negative "tapes" that replay over and over in our minds. Redemption comes through empowering yourself with new "life scripts," supplied by the masters themselves, for prices that range from $500 one-day workshops to Tony Robbins's $5,995 "Date with Destiny" seminar. Ha! Are they Gods who can change a person's life by a magic touch?
Do these programs work? No one knows.No scientific evidence indicates that any of the countless SHAM techniques--from fire walking to 12-stepping--works better than doing something else or even doing nothing. The law of large numbers means that given the millions of people who have tried SHAMs, inevitably some will improve. As with trying alternative-medicine , the body naturally heals itself and whatever the patient was doing to help gets the credit.
Of course there is a certain amount of wisdom in the books, sometimes a considerable amount. Accessible sources of information that are available to all have to be a good thing. And everyone uses the books in a different way; sometimes these are empowering ways.
Patient, heal thyself-- is the true meaning of self-help !
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Olympics and life
Bear with the outdated nature of this post. It has been in draft mode for a while now.
I wouldn't be surprised if I forget Usain's Bolt's victory dance after breaking the world record in the men's 200 meters event or Michel Pheps's big smile after winning medal after medal by the next Olympics. But what will be etched in my memory is, Lolo Jones burying her head in shame after she tripped over the ninth hurdle in the women's 100 meters hurdle. In a world where your merits are judged by the results you produce and not the efforts you put in, all the years of hard work and sweat that had gone into in preparing for this event vanished into thin air for that split second.
How unfair, I agree. But nobody said life is fair all the time to all the people. Slips and blips happen, but for how long can one mourn and grieve? There comes a point wherein it becomes easier to hope rather than despair and play with that one weapon you have control over – your attitude! As someone said, when life throws a handle at you, you have a choice to either grab it by the handle or by the blade. It's not an easy choice, but a choice nevertheless.
I read the following somewhere recently... I qoute it here as I found it powerful and something I myself would like to embrace in my life
“Try your best, work your hardest, and celebrate what you achieve even if someone else has achieved more than what you have. If that's not good enough for you, have a nice life. You have my deepest sympathy.”
I wouldn't be surprised if I forget Usain's Bolt's victory dance after breaking the world record in the men's 200 meters event or Michel Pheps's big smile after winning medal after medal by the next Olympics. But what will be etched in my memory is, Lolo Jones burying her head in shame after she tripped over the ninth hurdle in the women's 100 meters hurdle. In a world where your merits are judged by the results you produce and not the efforts you put in, all the years of hard work and sweat that had gone into in preparing for this event vanished into thin air for that split second.
How unfair, I agree. But nobody said life is fair all the time to all the people. Slips and blips happen, but for how long can one mourn and grieve? There comes a point wherein it becomes easier to hope rather than despair and play with that one weapon you have control over – your attitude! As someone said, when life throws a handle at you, you have a choice to either grab it by the handle or by the blade. It's not an easy choice, but a choice nevertheless.
I read the following somewhere recently... I qoute it here as I found it powerful and something I myself would like to embrace in my life
“Try your best, work your hardest, and celebrate what you achieve even if someone else has achieved more than what you have. If that's not good enough for you, have a nice life. You have my deepest sympathy.”
Friday, August 22, 2008
Massive fodder for thought!
These days I here a lot about these stuff- global warming,eco-conciousness,carbon foot print etc etc. And I came across this movie by Al Gore- the inconvenient truth.
I grew up in a typical middle class family. There was no shortage of necessities, but wastage of any form was considered a crime. One look from my dad and uncles, and I would gobble up all the unappetizing vegetables on my plate. My brother and I would get reprimanded if we failed to switch off the tube lights and fans after we leave a room. When we went out, either our Bajaj scooter was running at full capacity or we would take the public transportation. Even today I can see my dad getting groceries from a local shop in those cone shaped paper babgs only.Plastic bags are very rare in Tirunelveli.Whenever we had a family get together, banana leaves were used as plates.Even when we go out on picnics I remember how my dad used to pack food in a banana leaf so skilfully!In hindsight, although most of what I have cited were prompted by economic reasons, I couldn't help noticing how environmentally sound these practices were. Today, as we battle global warming, and food price inflation, and talk about reducing carbon footprint and adopting a minimalist approach to life, I smile and wonder how complicated we have made our lives to be.
Are we as a society really heading back to where our ancestors came from? A leisurely pace of life. A physically demanding lifestyle like ploughing fields, drawing water from a well and well! walking everywhere to get things done.
One of my friends was extolling the virtues of brown rice over white. Is that not what our grandparents and to an extent our parents grew up on? In the process of modernization we have managed to strip rice of its natural goodness and then add the nutrients back through chemical means and make it fortified white rice. So indeed have we managed inject cows with hormones to give more milk and now search for ‘organic’ milk so we are not overdosing ourselves on hormones. We spray pesticides to keep the crops healthy and end up paying double for pesticide free produce.
In our pursuit of bigger homes, fancier computers, seasonal clothes, monstrous cars we have become a huge part of the equation. It all ties in with an earlier discussion here on this blog about going back to Nature and completing this Circle of Life. Here are some things each of us can adopt in our everyday lives to be part of this movement. To leave a bit of this beautiful planet we are on for our children and grandchildren.
I am yet to decide how or what I am going to do to get involved. The onus is on us as people of a generation that can take charge. The generation that can leave the world a better place than it found it.
Lucky for me, I can manage by borrowing a leaf or two from my childhood!
I grew up in a typical middle class family. There was no shortage of necessities, but wastage of any form was considered a crime. One look from my dad and uncles, and I would gobble up all the unappetizing vegetables on my plate. My brother and I would get reprimanded if we failed to switch off the tube lights and fans after we leave a room. When we went out, either our Bajaj scooter was running at full capacity or we would take the public transportation. Even today I can see my dad getting groceries from a local shop in those cone shaped paper babgs only.Plastic bags are very rare in Tirunelveli.Whenever we had a family get together, banana leaves were used as plates.Even when we go out on picnics I remember how my dad used to pack food in a banana leaf so skilfully!In hindsight, although most of what I have cited were prompted by economic reasons, I couldn't help noticing how environmentally sound these practices were. Today, as we battle global warming, and food price inflation, and talk about reducing carbon footprint and adopting a minimalist approach to life, I smile and wonder how complicated we have made our lives to be.
Are we as a society really heading back to where our ancestors came from? A leisurely pace of life. A physically demanding lifestyle like ploughing fields, drawing water from a well and well! walking everywhere to get things done.
One of my friends was extolling the virtues of brown rice over white. Is that not what our grandparents and to an extent our parents grew up on? In the process of modernization we have managed to strip rice of its natural goodness and then add the nutrients back through chemical means and make it fortified white rice. So indeed have we managed inject cows with hormones to give more milk and now search for ‘organic’ milk so we are not overdosing ourselves on hormones. We spray pesticides to keep the crops healthy and end up paying double for pesticide free produce.
In our pursuit of bigger homes, fancier computers, seasonal clothes, monstrous cars we have become a huge part of the equation. It all ties in with an earlier discussion here on this blog about going back to Nature and completing this Circle of Life. Here are some things each of us can adopt in our everyday lives to be part of this movement. To leave a bit of this beautiful planet we are on for our children and grandchildren.
I am yet to decide how or what I am going to do to get involved. The onus is on us as people of a generation that can take charge. The generation that can leave the world a better place than it found it.
Lucky for me, I can manage by borrowing a leaf or two from my childhood!
Thursday, August 21, 2008
A peek into my mind
I came across this "meme" thing and was intrigued and wanted to see what I would come up with. Some surprised me as well. Anyways, here it is.
I am: right now at a place where I am looking to understand what I am
I think: way too much
I know: I am loved
I have: two adorable kids
I wish: I pursue my dreams with the same fervor as I start out with
I hate: being stood up
I miss: my mom and dad
I fear: being jobless
I hear: silence in between words
I smell: johnson's baby powder
I crave: interesting company
I search: for the right words to say.
I wonder: what I will be when I am 60
I love: my family
I ache: when I see people I care about in pain
I am not: as brave as I would like to be
I believe: in having faith
I dance: when no one is looking
I sing: only for my kids
I cry: more often than I would like to
I fight: for anything I believe is right
I win: if I really put my mind to it.
I lose: my temper more often than I wish to(especially with H.)
I never: regret being what I am
I confuse: H with inconsistent moods
I listen: when I care
I can usually be found: at home
I am scared: of being lonely
I am happy about: the way I have shaped up as a person
I imagine: my life will have a happy ending
I did it to put down how I thought now. Might take a look again later to see if things have changed?! Though, I would definitely like to know others’ thoughts
I am: right now at a place where I am looking to understand what I am
I think: way too much
I know: I am loved
I have: two adorable kids
I wish: I pursue my dreams with the same fervor as I start out with
I hate: being stood up
I miss: my mom and dad
I fear: being jobless
I hear: silence in between words
I smell: johnson's baby powder
I crave: interesting company
I search: for the right words to say.
I wonder: what I will be when I am 60
I love: my family
I ache: when I see people I care about in pain
I am not: as brave as I would like to be
I believe: in having faith
I dance: when no one is looking
I sing: only for my kids
I cry: more often than I would like to
I fight: for anything I believe is right
I win: if I really put my mind to it.
I lose: my temper more often than I wish to(especially with H.)
I never: regret being what I am
I confuse: H with inconsistent moods
I listen: when I care
I can usually be found: at home
I am scared: of being lonely
I am happy about: the way I have shaped up as a person
I imagine: my life will have a happy ending
I did it to put down how I thought now. Might take a look again later to see if things have changed?! Though, I would definitely like to know others’ thoughts
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Failure ...
It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all - in which case, you fail by default.
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
English
Yesterday while I was preparing Neha for her Spelling Test, we came across "laugh".So she asked me whyis the spelling simply not "lauf" and I had to explain to her whenever "gh" comes it is pronounced like "f".She hardly looked convinced! And the next word was "plough" and now she asked me why here "gh" does not sound like "f"? I gave a blank look and just told her what I had always felt ,"E nglish is a very funny language , kanna."
There is no egg in eggplant or ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
English muffins were not invented in England or french fries in France.
Sweetmeats are candies, while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.
We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
And why is it that writers write, but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce, and hammers don't ham?
If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. Is cheese the plural of choose? And, one moose, 2 meese?
If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?
If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
In what language do people recite at a play, and play at a recital?
Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?
Have noses that run and feet that smell?
How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?
How can the weather be hot as hell one day and cold as hell another?
When a house burns up, it burns down.
You fill in a form by filling it out and an alarm clock goes off by going on.
When the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.
And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I end it?
Does anyone have the answers? That might help me answer my 6 year old and the 6 year old in me!
There is no egg in eggplant or ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
English muffins were not invented in England or french fries in France.
Sweetmeats are candies, while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.
We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
And why is it that writers write, but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce, and hammers don't ham?
If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. Is cheese the plural of choose? And, one moose, 2 meese?
If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?
If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
In what language do people recite at a play, and play at a recital?
Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?
Have noses that run and feet that smell?
How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?
How can the weather be hot as hell one day and cold as hell another?
When a house burns up, it burns down.
You fill in a form by filling it out and an alarm clock goes off by going on.
When the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.
And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I end it?
Does anyone have the answers? That might help me answer my 6 year old and the 6 year old in me!
Independence....
I am still mulling over what independence is...I see my neighbour's dog, sleek and well-fed, cared for and loved, with a collar that marks her lack of independence....and I see the street dog, with its ribs sticking out, cringing at the stones it expects to be thrown any minute, yet hopeful that a scrap of food will be thrown its way....is independence always good if it is not accompanied by financial independence? But yet so many people choose it...people in highly-paid jobs move to work where they will be independent, and do not count the rewards in terms of money.
I am very thoughtful today; yesterday I watched a panel discussion on TV, in which, after listening to speakers from the IT sector and the police describing the security measures being taken to counter terrorism in this city, someone in the audience got up and forcibly made the point, that it is the poor people who are the least protected by the police, and they who are the most affected by acts of terrorism. So I am pondering over the eternal question of why those who need the most protection never fall under society's umbrella, why the weak are left to fend for themselves....
I am very thoughtful today; yesterday I watched a panel discussion on TV, in which, after listening to speakers from the IT sector and the police describing the security measures being taken to counter terrorism in this city, someone in the audience got up and forcibly made the point, that it is the poor people who are the least protected by the police, and they who are the most affected by acts of terrorism. So I am pondering over the eternal question of why those who need the most protection never fall under society's umbrella, why the weak are left to fend for themselves....
Monday, August 18, 2008
Are you ready to conquer the mountains?
I borrowed Oh, the Places You'll Go! from the local library last week for Neha and it turns out that I am hooked on to it since then. One can mull and chew over the contents of this truly inspiring book for hours together.
The book beautifully illustrates how a brainy and footsy person like you can conquer mountains in life. You will live your life according to the choices you make. You will fly high and you will be the best. This, however, does not make you immune to the downs in life. When those downs do happen, it will be scary, lonely and unpleasant to overcome. Nevertheless, you will move on without too much waiting and staying. You will learn to step with care and that life is a great balancing act. And at the end of it all, you will indeed succeed (alteast 98 and 3/4 percent of the times, according to some weird statistics by the author).
Oh, the Places You'll Go!
Congratulations!
Today is your day.
You're off to Great Places!
You're off and away!
You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes
You can steer yourselfany direction you choose.
You're on your own.
And you know what you know.
And YOU are the guy who'll decide where to go.
You'll look up and down streets.
Look 'em over with care.
About some you will say, "I don't choose to go there"
With your head full of brains and your shoes full of feet,
you're too smart to go down any not-so-good street.
And you may not find anyyou'll want to go down.
In that case, of course,
you'll head straight out of town.
It's opener therein the wide open air.
Out there things can happen
and frequently do
to people as brainy and footsy as you.
And when things start to happen,
don't worry. Don't stew.
Just go right along.
You'll start happening too.
OH! THE PLACES YOU'LL GO!
You'll be on your way up!
You'll be seeing great sights!
You'll join the high flierswho soar to high heights.
You won't lag behind,
because you'll have the speed.
You'll pass the whole gang and you'll soon take the lead.
Wherever you fly,
you'll be the best of the best.
Wherever you go,
you will top all the rest.
Except when you don' t
Because, sometimes, you won't.
I'm sorry to say so
but, sadly, it's true
and Hang-ups can happen to you.
You can get all hung up in a prickle-ly perch.
And your gang will fly on.
You'll be left in a Lurch.
You'll come down from the Lurch with an unpleasant bump.
And the chances are,
then,that you'll be in a Slump.
And when you're in a Slump,
you're not in for much fun.
Un-slumping yourself is not easily done.
You will come to a place where the streets are not marked.
Some windows are lighted.
But mostly they're darked.
A place you could sprain both you elbow and chin!
Do you dare to stay out?
Do you dare to go in?
How much can you lose?
How much can you win?
And IF you go in,
should you turn left or right...
or right-and-three-quarters?
Or, maybe, not quite?
Or go around back and sneak in from behind?
Simple it's not,
I'm afraid you will find,
for a mind-maker-upper to make up his mind.
You can get so confused
that you'll start in to racedown
along wiggled roads
at a break-necking pace
and grind on for miles
across weirdish wild space,
headed, I fear,
toward a most useless place.
The Waiting Place..... ...
for people just waiting.
Waiting for a train to go
or a bus to come,
or a plane to go
or the mail to come,
or the rain to go
or the phone to ring,
or the snow to snow
or waiting around for a Yes or a No
or waiting for their hair to grow.
Everyone is just waiting.
Waiting for the fish to bite
or waiting for wind to fly a kite
or waiting around for Friday night
or waiting, perhaps, for their Uncle Jake
or a pot to boil,
or a Better Break
or a sting of pearls,
or a pair of pants
or a wig with curls,
or Another Chance.
Everyone is just waiting.
NO!That's not for you!
Somehow you'll escape
all that waiting and staying.
You'll find the bright places
where Boom Bands are playing.
With banner flip-flapping,
once more you'll ride high!
Ready for anything under the sky.
Ready because you're that kind of a guy!
Oh, the places you'll go!
There is fun to be done!
There are points to be scored.
there are games to be won.
And the magical things you can do with that ball
will make you the winning-est winner of all.
Fame!
You'll be famous as famous can be,
with the whole wide world watching you win on TV.
Except when they don't.
Because, sometimes, they won't.
I'm afraid that some times
you'll play lonely games too.
Games you can't win'cause you'll play against you.
All Alone!
Whether you like it or not,
Alone will be something
you'll be quite a lot.
And when you're alone,
there's a very good chance
you'll meet things that scare you right out of your pants.
There are some,
down the road
between hither and yon,
that can scare you so much you won't want to go on.
But on you will go
though the weather be foul
On you will go
though your enemies prowl
On you will go
though the Hakken-Kraks howl
Onward up manya frightening creek,
though your arms may get soreand your sneakers may leak.
On and on you will hike
and I know you'll hike far
and face up to your problems
whatever they are.
You'll get mixed up, of course,
as you already know.
You'll get mixed upwith many strange birds as you go.
So be sure when you step.
Step with care and great tact
and remember that Life'sa Great Balancing Act.
Just never forget to be dexterous and deft.
And never mix up your right foot with your left.
And will you succeed?
Yes! You will, indeed!(98 and 3 / 4 percent guaranteed.)
KID, YOU'LL MOVE MOUNTAINS!
So...be your name Buxbaum
or Bixby or Brayor Mordecai Ali Van Allen O'Shea,
you're off to Great Places!
Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting.
So...get on your way!
---Dr. Seuss
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I am determined to own a copy of this book. Neha will enjoy the vibrant colors and the rhyming words and I will cherish the underlying lessons.
The book beautifully illustrates how a brainy and footsy person like you can conquer mountains in life. You will live your life according to the choices you make. You will fly high and you will be the best. This, however, does not make you immune to the downs in life. When those downs do happen, it will be scary, lonely and unpleasant to overcome. Nevertheless, you will move on without too much waiting and staying. You will learn to step with care and that life is a great balancing act. And at the end of it all, you will indeed succeed (alteast 98 and 3/4 percent of the times, according to some weird statistics by the author).
Oh, the Places You'll Go!
Congratulations!
Today is your day.
You're off to Great Places!
You're off and away!
You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes
You can steer yourselfany direction you choose.
You're on your own.
And you know what you know.
And YOU are the guy who'll decide where to go.
You'll look up and down streets.
Look 'em over with care.
About some you will say, "I don't choose to go there"
With your head full of brains and your shoes full of feet,
you're too smart to go down any not-so-good street.
And you may not find anyyou'll want to go down.
In that case, of course,
you'll head straight out of town.
It's opener therein the wide open air.
Out there things can happen
and frequently do
to people as brainy and footsy as you.
And when things start to happen,
don't worry. Don't stew.
Just go right along.
You'll start happening too.
OH! THE PLACES YOU'LL GO!
You'll be on your way up!
You'll be seeing great sights!
You'll join the high flierswho soar to high heights.
You won't lag behind,
because you'll have the speed.
You'll pass the whole gang and you'll soon take the lead.
Wherever you fly,
you'll be the best of the best.
Wherever you go,
you will top all the rest.
Except when you don' t
Because, sometimes, you won't.
I'm sorry to say so
but, sadly, it's true
and Hang-ups can happen to you.
You can get all hung up in a prickle-ly perch.
And your gang will fly on.
You'll be left in a Lurch.
You'll come down from the Lurch with an unpleasant bump.
And the chances are,
then,that you'll be in a Slump.
And when you're in a Slump,
you're not in for much fun.
Un-slumping yourself is not easily done.
You will come to a place where the streets are not marked.
Some windows are lighted.
But mostly they're darked.
A place you could sprain both you elbow and chin!
Do you dare to stay out?
Do you dare to go in?
How much can you lose?
How much can you win?
And IF you go in,
should you turn left or right...
or right-and-three-quarters?
Or, maybe, not quite?
Or go around back and sneak in from behind?
Simple it's not,
I'm afraid you will find,
for a mind-maker-upper to make up his mind.
You can get so confused
that you'll start in to racedown
along wiggled roads
at a break-necking pace
and grind on for miles
across weirdish wild space,
headed, I fear,
toward a most useless place.
The Waiting Place..... ...
for people just waiting.
Waiting for a train to go
or a bus to come,
or a plane to go
or the mail to come,
or the rain to go
or the phone to ring,
or the snow to snow
or waiting around for a Yes or a No
or waiting for their hair to grow.
Everyone is just waiting.
Waiting for the fish to bite
or waiting for wind to fly a kite
or waiting around for Friday night
or waiting, perhaps, for their Uncle Jake
or a pot to boil,
or a Better Break
or a sting of pearls,
or a pair of pants
or a wig with curls,
or Another Chance.
Everyone is just waiting.
NO!That's not for you!
Somehow you'll escape
all that waiting and staying.
You'll find the bright places
where Boom Bands are playing.
With banner flip-flapping,
once more you'll ride high!
Ready for anything under the sky.
Ready because you're that kind of a guy!
Oh, the places you'll go!
There is fun to be done!
There are points to be scored.
there are games to be won.
And the magical things you can do with that ball
will make you the winning-est winner of all.
Fame!
You'll be famous as famous can be,
with the whole wide world watching you win on TV.
Except when they don't.
Because, sometimes, they won't.
I'm afraid that some times
you'll play lonely games too.
Games you can't win'cause you'll play against you.
All Alone!
Whether you like it or not,
Alone will be something
you'll be quite a lot.
And when you're alone,
there's a very good chance
you'll meet things that scare you right out of your pants.
There are some,
down the road
between hither and yon,
that can scare you so much you won't want to go on.
But on you will go
though the weather be foul
On you will go
though your enemies prowl
On you will go
though the Hakken-Kraks howl
Onward up manya frightening creek,
though your arms may get soreand your sneakers may leak.
On and on you will hike
and I know you'll hike far
and face up to your problems
whatever they are.
You'll get mixed up, of course,
as you already know.
You'll get mixed upwith many strange birds as you go.
So be sure when you step.
Step with care and great tact
and remember that Life'sa Great Balancing Act.
Just never forget to be dexterous and deft.
And never mix up your right foot with your left.
And will you succeed?
Yes! You will, indeed!(98 and 3 / 4 percent guaranteed.)
KID, YOU'LL MOVE MOUNTAINS!
So...be your name Buxbaum
or Bixby or Brayor Mordecai Ali Van Allen O'Shea,
you're off to Great Places!
Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting.
So...get on your way!
---Dr. Seuss
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I am determined to own a copy of this book. Neha will enjoy the vibrant colors and the rhyming words and I will cherish the underlying lessons.
Thursday, August 14, 2008
A very vetti post!
Parenting often makes you think about the oddest things in life. Of late, I have been fascinated by how the different parts of the human body can handle varying degrees of temperature. When I offer something piping hot to Nishant, I like to feed him the first few bites with my hand because I know if my hand can handle the temperature, the tongue, which is more heat tolerant than the hand, can handle it too. The opposite is true for hair wash. If the water is not hot enough for the body, it is good enough for the head. At night, I make it compulsory for Nishant to wear his socks because if his feet, which retains the heat in the body, is protected, he should be fine even if the blankie fails to keep him cosy. The one thing that is still a mystery though is how to protect the sensitive nose that sometimes acts like an immature sibling who turns green with envy when attention is lavished on the brother or sister. As I lay down fully bundled up with a pair of socks, a sweater and two comforters on me, content that nothing can come between me and my sleep, my nose makes it presence felt by getting a tad chillier. A battle pursues between my nose and my comforter for the next few minutes and before I know it, I slip into glorious sleep; only to wake up in the middle of the night when my body declares loud and clear that in my enthusiasm to stay snug, perhaps I went a little too far. Apologetically, I toss out my sweater and socks, before I slip into dreamland again.
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
The Kite Runner
After reading Khaled Hosseini's second best book, I had my heart set on his debut, The Kite Runner. As tempting as it was, I refused to finish the book in one sitting. I savored it, word by word, line by line, reluctantly turning the pages as the novel was drawing to a close. Have you observed how following a calamity, natural or man made, the media is rife with people stories; stories that provide first hand account of what had happened and what it was like to be caught in that pandemonium. That's exactly how I look at The Kite Runner as well. As a one man's narration of how his life was influenced by the ethnic clashes in Afghanistan, and the twists and turns in the nation's political setup.
Review: Whenever an ambulance or a fire engine passes by when I am on the road, my first reaction is to say a 20 second prayer. A prayer for the well being of the person who has met with the accident, and a prayer to thank God for making me and my family to be at the right place at the right time. That's the kind of reaction that this novel invoked. After reading the book, I felt awful for what the Afghans had/have to go through and wished that things changed for the better, sooner than later. Then I felt thankful for being endowed with the privilege of leading a normal life. As boring as normal can sometimes be, I am more than willing to take it any day.
Rating: Quick read, easy to follow, compelling narration, do yourself a favor by reading this book. I rate this book as outstanding.
Review: Whenever an ambulance or a fire engine passes by when I am on the road, my first reaction is to say a 20 second prayer. A prayer for the well being of the person who has met with the accident, and a prayer to thank God for making me and my family to be at the right place at the right time. That's the kind of reaction that this novel invoked. After reading the book, I felt awful for what the Afghans had/have to go through and wished that things changed for the better, sooner than later. Then I felt thankful for being endowed with the privilege of leading a normal life. As boring as normal can sometimes be, I am more than willing to take it any day.
Rating: Quick read, easy to follow, compelling narration, do yourself a favor by reading this book. I rate this book as outstanding.
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
Ek chidiyaa
Reminds me of the video which I saw growing up as a kid - Ek Chidiya, anek Chidiya. Enjoy
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uaTYLy1Jgio
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uaTYLy1Jgio
The secret "me"
I have always wondered if I am what “I” am. Sometimes I feel I have seen so many “I” s in “me”. Suppose that everything going on in my head in twenty four hours could be accurately recorded on a videotape…My dreams and day time fantasies, conversations with myself and appeals to the gods, the music and the memories that float about and all the loony trivia that strays around in my mind… Suppose all of this material could be played in a theater - with multiple screens and DTS Dolby sound system - A pretty sensational show, I’d guess. MTV, Sci-fi thriller, M&B romances all these combined couldn’t compete with what goes behind the closed door of the secret side of our minds.The operative word here is “secret”.
Public lives are lived out on the job and in the market place, where certain rules , conventions, laws and social customs keep most of us in line.
Private lives are lived out in the presence of our family and friends and neighbors who must be considered and respected, even though the rules and proscriptions here are looser than what’s allowed in public.
But in our secret lives, inside our own heads, almost anything goes…
We alone are answerable for what we think and do when nobody else is around and involved.
Inside this tight boundaries of flesh and bone is a borderless jungle in which clearings exist. In these open spaces, there may be an amusement park, a zoo, a circus, a library, a museum , a theater, or a landscape stranger than Mars.
We refer to ourselves in first person singular - “I” - but inside it’s more like first person plural. Most of the time my inner life seems like a ventriloquist act. A ceaseless dialogue between me and my “dummy”. Oddly enough, the “dummy” is smarter than I am !
It seems as if me and my “dummy” have lots of company. There’s quite a crowd in here with us. A child and its parents, a wise old person, a mechanic, demons, a fool, a scientist, a comedian, a musician, a dancer (?!), an athlete, a magician, a philosopher, a silly romantic girl, a practical woman, and multitudes more…The population of a small town inhabits the landscape of my min! And a town meeting is always in session.
I can fully relate to the occasional movies about multiple personalities. This is not news to me. In the best sense of the word, I run an asylum - a safe refuge - in my mind! And it’s not a problem. As long as I keep the shades down and the doors closed and don’t let anybody loose, all this is well. As long as I am firmly in control of my secret life, the world sees me as sane and functional. Or Am I ? Sometimes it is hard to tell.
Friday, February 29, 2008
A trek through my Life
A warm sunny day
A long winding path
A song on my lips
A bag on my back
I tread on… alone
Where to? What for?
For the journey has no end
No purpose, no goal…
The path is the destination
And the destination is the path
And so I tread on… and on… and…
As I walk along the twists and turns
I unearth, I explore, I ponder
Each moment a learning
Every lesson a blessing
Which in my bag I gather.
At the end of the day
I say a little prayer
For those who care
And touch my life in their own special way.
God bless!!
As the sun shines down on the wood
I gather my memoirs
And wrap them with as much love as I could
The path is the destination
And the destination is the path
And so I tread on… and on… and… ALONE.
A long winding path
A song on my lips
A bag on my back
I tread on… alone
Where to? What for?
For the journey has no end
No purpose, no goal…
The path is the destination
And the destination is the path
And so I tread on… and on… and…
As I walk along the twists and turns
I unearth, I explore, I ponder
Each moment a learning
Every lesson a blessing
Which in my bag I gather.
At the end of the day
I say a little prayer
For those who care
And touch my life in their own special way.
God bless!!
As the sun shines down on the wood
I gather my memoirs
And wrap them with as much love as I could
The path is the destination
And the destination is the path
And so I tread on… and on… and… ALONE.
Do we need to have dreams?
Dreams, desires, directions, priorities, fear of losing something while you urge something to achieve….
People, friends, colleagues, family...Their expectations and your wish list … a clash between them …you need to live for others and be true to their expectation or do what you feel right? after all everybody has justification …take the proven route ; do the things whole world is doing or take the least known path and be ready to face those questions and stares !!
Dreams, opportunities, hard work and still unsure of the destination…calamities and troubles when you expect least!! A sudden stop and everything looks uncertain...Feel like all the efforts will go for a toss and it does some times!! And then still cannot give up and start from scratch!!
Good times, bad times and testing times!! Every moment surpasses the previous one and you move ahead …still hope for best and thank god for what you got …
Sometimes I wonder do we need to have dreams. Or do what the whole crowd does!! Does it gives meaning to life and peace of mind at the end of it ? Don’t know !!
Yet it is mere surge of thoughts ; knitted into words …still the haze is there like the layer thick fog on the glass window pane ; making impossible to look beyond …waiting for sun rays to come and do the magic !! Yeah the wait could be long and tiring...but I have not given up still ….
People, friends, colleagues, family...Their expectations and your wish list … a clash between them …you need to live for others and be true to their expectation or do what you feel right? after all everybody has justification …take the proven route ; do the things whole world is doing or take the least known path and be ready to face those questions and stares !!
Dreams, opportunities, hard work and still unsure of the destination…calamities and troubles when you expect least!! A sudden stop and everything looks uncertain...Feel like all the efforts will go for a toss and it does some times!! And then still cannot give up and start from scratch!!
Good times, bad times and testing times!! Every moment surpasses the previous one and you move ahead …still hope for best and thank god for what you got …
Sometimes I wonder do we need to have dreams. Or do what the whole crowd does!! Does it gives meaning to life and peace of mind at the end of it ? Don’t know !!
Yet it is mere surge of thoughts ; knitted into words …still the haze is there like the layer thick fog on the glass window pane ; making impossible to look beyond …waiting for sun rays to come and do the magic !! Yeah the wait could be long and tiring...but I have not given up still ….
Monday, February 25, 2008
My words of wisdom!
"Own what's important to you. (free and clear)
Invest in people and relationships.
Diversify geographically, socially and culturally.
Plant seeds of freedom in people's hearts.
Take delight in ur individual accomplishments.
Count your blessings.
Help other people do all of this, also.
Have fun, make money, make a difference!
Life is about people, not things.
Things are just tools."
Invest in people and relationships.
Diversify geographically, socially and culturally.
Plant seeds of freedom in people's hearts.
Take delight in ur individual accomplishments.
Count your blessings.
Help other people do all of this, also.
Have fun, make money, make a difference!
Life is about people, not things.
Things are just tools."
Friday, February 22, 2008
Little moments, big magic...
Just a few hours, a few fries and a few hoops – you can help change your community.
Trust me!Become a Guardian angel.
Well how? Let me tell youIn our lives, each of us shared an important connection with someone who broadened our horizons and brought a little magic into our lives.
It was the person who taught you to throw that perfect spiral, or sat in the front row to cheer you on, even when it was embarrassing, gave you a warm hug when you were down, loved you the way you want them to love you and what not… These are the little moments that guardian angels experience every day.
There are people who really need encouragement, support, friendship, guidance and love. There are people who really don’t believe in themselves until they meet someone who believe in them.
We may not see the need to put our feelings into words like – ‘I love you very much and care about you’ .Its unwise to assume that your loved ones are secure in the knowledge that you love them.
People who make such assumptions are in the danger of being totally overwhelmed when in later years your loved ones tell you – “I never knew how much you loved me, you never told me.” Or even worse “I never felt loved”Your loved ones need to experience affection directly. They cannot guess at your motives – it’s too abstract a concept.
We can spread love starting with our words. Make a conscious attempt to communicate something positive – you look nice this morning, this color suits you blah blah…Let you people know you are aware of them and concerned.
We can put love notes in lunch boxes, send e cards, sms, hugs…..Once we decide to communicate our love often there are numerous ways to express it these days.Touching a person life is the most profound influence of all.
A few of hours a couple times a month can change someone’s future for the better!
Live life king size ~ You are an Guardian angel nOw……(ugh! screams your heart….. )
Trust me!Become a Guardian angel.
Well how? Let me tell youIn our lives, each of us shared an important connection with someone who broadened our horizons and brought a little magic into our lives.
It was the person who taught you to throw that perfect spiral, or sat in the front row to cheer you on, even when it was embarrassing, gave you a warm hug when you were down, loved you the way you want them to love you and what not… These are the little moments that guardian angels experience every day.
There are people who really need encouragement, support, friendship, guidance and love. There are people who really don’t believe in themselves until they meet someone who believe in them.
We may not see the need to put our feelings into words like – ‘I love you very much and care about you’ .Its unwise to assume that your loved ones are secure in the knowledge that you love them.
People who make such assumptions are in the danger of being totally overwhelmed when in later years your loved ones tell you – “I never knew how much you loved me, you never told me.” Or even worse “I never felt loved”Your loved ones need to experience affection directly. They cannot guess at your motives – it’s too abstract a concept.
We can spread love starting with our words. Make a conscious attempt to communicate something positive – you look nice this morning, this color suits you blah blah…Let you people know you are aware of them and concerned.
We can put love notes in lunch boxes, send e cards, sms, hugs…..Once we decide to communicate our love often there are numerous ways to express it these days.Touching a person life is the most profound influence of all.
A few of hours a couple times a month can change someone’s future for the better!
Live life king size ~ You are an Guardian angel nOw……(ugh! screams your heart….. )
PUSH
When everything seems to go wrong, just push.
When the job gets you down, just push.
When people don't react the way you think they should, push!
When your money looks funny and the bills are due, just push.
When you want to tell them off for whatever the reason, just push.
When people just don't understand you, just push.
Let me tell you what Push stands for ....
P-ray
U-ntil
S-omething
H-appens
Keep spreading your amorous energies.
The world needs it...!!
When the job gets you down, just push.
When people don't react the way you think they should, push!
When your money looks funny and the bills are due, just push.
When you want to tell them off for whatever the reason, just push.
When people just don't understand you, just push.
Let me tell you what Push stands for ....
P-ray
U-ntil
S-omething
H-appens
Keep spreading your amorous energies.
The world needs it...!!
Thursday, February 21, 2008
The Stuff behind my furniture!
I do like to think that I am reasonably clean and tidy. But comes that moment after all the furniture and possessions have been removed from my rooms and I come back to see if I had left anything, and I look at the floor and there's all this stuff around.Behind where the desk was and behind where the book case was and behind where the bed was and in the corner occupied by the chest. Suff.Gray, fuzzy, grotty Stuff.
Look at all the dirt, I think. I am not so very nice and clean after all, I think.
I read in a medical journal that a lab analyzes this Stuff.They were working on the problems of people with allergies , but their results apply here.The findings: particles of wool, cotton and paper,bug chunks, food, plants ,tree leaves,ash, microscopic spores of fungi and single celled animals and a lot of unidentifiable odds and ends, mostly naturaland organic.
But that's just the miscellaneous list.The majority of Stuff comes from just two sources: people - exfoliated skin and hair; and meteorites- disintegrated as they hit the earth's atmosphere.(No kidding-it's true- tons of it fall everyday). So, in other words, what's behind my bed and bookcase and dresser and chest is mostly me and stardust!
Look at all the dirt, I think. I am not so very nice and clean after all, I think.
I read in a medical journal that a lab analyzes this Stuff.They were working on the problems of people with allergies , but their results apply here.The findings: particles of wool, cotton and paper,bug chunks, food, plants ,tree leaves,ash, microscopic spores of fungi and single celled animals and a lot of unidentifiable odds and ends, mostly naturaland organic.
But that's just the miscellaneous list.The majority of Stuff comes from just two sources: people - exfoliated skin and hair; and meteorites- disintegrated as they hit the earth's atmosphere.(No kidding-it's true- tons of it fall everyday). So, in other words, what's behind my bed and bookcase and dresser and chest is mostly me and stardust!
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
The clean job- Laundry!
I am incharge of laundry in my house.I like this job.It gives a sense of accomlishment.I like sorting clothes-lights,darks,in-betweens.I like setting the dials-hot,cold,rinse,time,heat.These are choices I can understandand make with decisive skill.When the wash cycle ends,I pull out the clean clothes and hang them to dry.When I am finished, I have a sense of accomplishment.A sense of competence.I'm good at doing the laundry.Atleast that! And it is a reliious experience, you know.Water,earth,fire-polarities of wet and dry,hot and cold,dirty and clean.The great cycles-round and round- beginning and end-Alpha and Omega.For a moment, at least, life is tidy and has a meaning...
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