My Second Innings

Nudged by friends and family, I mused about writing my thoughts in a place Then I remembered that I used to blog a long time ago... and I somehow recovered my long lost blog , dusted it and a glance at my old posts gave me a glimpse into the person I used to be ! Whoa! I might not be the same person now ....There's a saying that I remember : you never meet the same person twice, not even in the same person . I acknowledge that person that I was in the past and I try to make sense of her thoughts with due respect and a little love. 

 As November rolls in ,it usually brings with it a sense of finality about the year. It is around then that I start taking stock of the year that has been and the year ahead. I wouldn't say it is quite the celebratory feeling that accompanies the new year’s eve. This is sober, more reflective and, has a sense of gravitas to it. This exercise of going through my old blog has given me a larger scope for reflection...13 years is a long time...lots of life events, twists and turns... I had lost my father, there was a pandemic, my children have grown older ... There is a sense of quiet maturity, of leaving behind the 'young parent' avatar and embracing the real 'adult ' phase of my life.

 I walk around the home after dinner, my mind lost in a podcast discussing the nodes of the moon. The points where the moon’s orbit around the earth, intersect with the earth’s orbit around the sun. I listen to the mythology behind Rahu and Ketu and the archetypes make beautiful sense to me. I turn my podcast off with a sigh. There is so much beauty in the now, so much to take in just outside my kitchen window that it feels overwhelming. For a person who was so accustomed to and forever thinking of, planning for the future, this new phase feels like an aberration. I think of the years ahead but in the way I look at old pictures. They seem surreal and out of touch, unreal in some sense. 

 I no longer intend to recount the minutiae of my life on this blog. I miss doing that. It feels right in a strange way. I have outgrown that stage in my life where I felt compelled to share everything. Now is the season where I hug things to myself, content that what I enjoy is enough for me.